If you loved me as much as you said you did, you would still be around
Had a good day today, but still miss him when I turn the lights off and try to sleep.
March, 10th 2013
Still debating if I should write this on my diary or here, but since no one gives a fuck and no one is going to read this long ass post, I’ll just write…
I’m sad, I’m sad, I’m sad, I’m sad, I’m sad, I’m sad, I’m sad, I’m sad, I’m sad, and I’m sad. I’m going through the biggest depression of my life because of you and me and all we did to each other, you talking to all of this girls and acting like a freaking asshole when I know that’s not you and it hurts me thinking that it might be my fault for leaving, I tried so hard to keep our relationship to the point that I cared way too much that now I don’t give a fuck about myself, I stopped taking care of myself and now I can’t even recognize that person in the mirror or the person talking to other people trying not to be socially awkward.. Can’t believe that I am so hurt and I feel like I’m not gonna recover from this and it’s fucking stupid because I’m 17 and I don’t know shit about life or love or anything, and I’m already denying myself from moving on and breathing… I think of you all the time and it makes me sick to think you might be making love to someone else and not me, that you might be saying all of those beautiful things you used to say to me, to another girl that I know doesn’t love you or care about you as much as I do. I want to kiss your tiny beautiful lips and hide inside of your arms, I want to gaze into your eyes for hours. There was no need to say ” I love you “, because just by looking into your eyes I could see how much you loved me.
I miss you, every part of you, your ups and downs, your darkest moments, when you were crying/laughing/thinking/fighting… I just want to be with you again, I don’t care about anything that has happened lately, I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE.
Please miss me…